Tag Archives: kimberlyslyrics

Bathe


Bathe

Bathe

Bathe in the smugness of others

Flirt if it is a must to interact

It’s of no importance

You’re the task-at-hand

You’ve grown unnoticed

Then uglier with greed

Witness the competition

Try to entrap your ego

You easily spot the crazy ones

By the sheer fact they choose a straw

No children to neglect here

Let’s say good-bye

Yes the crime has been noted

My finder’s fee is large

I must take your sport

Standing tall in this sudden crowd

Emotions clear by the hair on your head

Let’s speed dial the band

They fall distinctly and lightly weak

Pains one to watch

When they claim better

No rhyme in a rhythm

Wicked to beat

Yet smelling sensational

My ink fades to blot

Noticing blood in the water

The victim laughs knowing a drop

Will create clouds in the wetness

Maybe just bad teachers

Or stubborn to be taught

Ovulation dictates my choices

Knowing you have been a mother

Without a daughter to be seen

Spaghetti’s and Sprite

Meals eaten continually

Run and win to kill

Maybe being dirty

Will take you back to Paris

I parked and bored

Some guess this never to be proved

Third Cup is next to scatter

I’m not at all impressed

Fingernail tips so black

Same color as my cousin

Let’s go let’s go let’s go

Where can I bathe I have to know.


His veins turned to Velvet


 

Feeling no pain

lost and lonely, scared and confused

It was clear he had nothing to lose

I was bleeding, enjoying the pain

Ecstasy spilling, right from my vein

But velvet became of his iron life

I was turning, right into his wife

As we became one

Became as one

His bite so sharp, with a slithered sound

I swear to God, I had been found

Feeling faint as I became his

Veins our fortress, like two little kids

Wild and turning, it had begun

No other mortal, would see me become

He was velvet, soon as he felt

My reception, at the state I dealt

Fearless wanting, more of his venom

Breathtaking gorgeous, I studied him

The more I did, the more I bled

My heart beating fast

Unknown if I would last

Yet a fame of fortune

Kept me from succumbing to run

And so I died

Blood trails my guide

He in velvet veins

Me turning insane

Immortal I was seeing

A gift of a new being

From fangs white as snow

Why me, I shall never know

That was then, but here is now

And someone best tell how I allow

A vamp of velvet

Got me so private

It was my turn, to bite back

It was my turn, to see black

To taste the velvet underground

To discover what he too once had found

I bit and sucked with all my might

Feeling his submission and lack of fight

It was final, I was not prey

Predator I did become today

Feeling no pain

 


Come lye here below me


lye here below me

When I was bitten, and chosen to be turned, I was already immortal. An angel. A fallen angel, yes, but an angel nonetheless

Tis that painting

To which you stare

I wrestle in hating

As she’s brushed there

 

Maybe see me so still

But it’s been a lie

A game to kill

What’s it like to cry?

 

I cannot comprehend

What it feels you say real

Wish I could once pretend

But it’s your emotions I do not feel

 

Unaware how you’ll be my prey

ever so soon, so fear what I say

 

 

Come to me now

Lay your body below me

Your going to feel how

Throbbing loved by we

 

Stare if you must

Your pissing me off

Loose the desired trust

I am furthest from soft

 

Unaware how you’ll be my prey

ever so soon, so fear what I say

 

Still you crave me

Based on what you have read

Fine weak mortal become we

I will enjoy rubbing on me as you bleed

 

Why must I attract

the obvious retards

Boring as expected to react

You pretend to feel some regard

 

You will die soon

This I say

Tomorrow by noon

I will enjoy you, my prey

 

Unaware how you’ll be my prey

ever so soon, so fear what I say

 

 

Soon to be master

You’ll think so smart

Watch me play faster

and rip out your heart

 

Best take credit

It’s already dieing

You begged and I read it

My fun an invite to rush your lieing

 

Let’s go, wait we have

Your challenge of jokes

Has clearly offered the road you pave

My joy the day you gasp from chokes

 

Unaware how you’ll be my prey

ever so soon, so fear what I say

 

Come play tough liar

This is my life

Decievinga crier

Feel my speed as your knife

 

You taunted first

Meaning I haunting last

Unaware I have yes started your curse

Fake mortals like you easily so fast

 

I promise you girly fool

I always get mine

Not one single rule

Especially of your kind

 

You know what’s so crazy

Is calling someone crazy

When you know they are

What is crazy baby?

 

Unaware how you’ll be my prey

ever so soon, so fear what I say

 

I laugh as you don’t know

Yet call me in public scared then go

Your about to see in person

Karma you disregard ah, so you worsen

 

Unaware how you’ll be my prey

ever so soon, so fear what I say

 

 

 

 


My Weapon your Lesson


 

I am Changing, Why? Time is……

Another Vampire Feast

Yet you enter me at least

I will never let go

Your desire I now know

To show you I am wide

My secret hides on my other side

Only alone do I feel this pleasure

Hidden are my gifts of pressure

Fears undeserving far to long an

Love, immortal, is our song

Time I pray will rid of his kills

Turning slowly I can’t sit still

Now I was able to let you see

My weapons are none more than me

The source that is killing

the very one I find thrilling

Tis far greater to mock my mistakes

In my life, immortal, no saviours gate

Time I suppose will help me with skills

More techniques to learn, rules and kills

Come I will never let go

Your desire I now know

To show you I am wide

My secret hides on my other side

Only alone do I feel this pleasure

Hidden are my gifts of treasure

Fears undeserving far too long

Love, not immortal, is our song

Time I pray will rid of his kills

Turning slowly I can’t sit still

Now I was able to let you see

My weapons are none more than me

The factor that is killing me

Is the very one I cannot feel just see

It is far greater to beg for my mistakes

And in my life, now immortal not fake

Time I suppose will help perfect my skills

Techniques teach obedience whilst one kills

Rather choose to obey and respect

Distribute fear to begin I will Infect

Chase as effect to hunt thy prey

Just to judge their fear this way

You do not know what I can do

The silence you hear, is calm for you

Mistake me again for being kind

Reveals stupidity in your witty mind

Make no mistake I live in peace

I can watch myself even as beast

Time I pray will rid of his kills

Turning slowly I can’t sit still

Should you hurt just one I love

Or mock my being just look above

Search for protection as you look up there

Do know the prey you hurt with no care

See and hear the clarity I speak

As you only do know we will meet

What? Is it possible to respect your smut?

Do hope your joking, your finished and cut

You the type who laugh even now

encourage in sequel, will show how

Time I suppose will help perfect my skills

Techniques teach obedience whilst thy kills

You so perfect in all of each day

Run, start now, my love, my next preY

Until eve of Tomorrows Day

I must know why I change, what’s biting my way

Regardless mY weapon, will be your lesson.

Trust you may, come lets preY

 


NighTs and WeekeNds CD Release


Saturday night I went to listen to an Indie band; namely Nights and Weekends, for the release of their new CD, below.  I’ll be honest, my brother is the drummer so I have always had a skewed opinion of his greatness.

Yet how do I write an objective, truthful review of this band and their magic without already being bias.  Then I remembered.  The crowd.  They confirmed it for me.

Then Saturday, I felt no need to favour this band just because I knew them, rather, was blown away at how far they progressed in talent, and do continually.   I could finally listen to on even ground.  This I thought would definitely not be my choice in genres but even with all the years between us, I really heard my brother, Davey James for the first time and all three men had me singing along, jumping, clapping and outside myself.  It was an escape I haven’t felt in so many years. I let go and was in the creative zone.  It inspires me, even now as I am listening to their CD, it inspires my own creativity.

They follow their own rules and use resources not so traditional but rather almost inventive.  I do get frustrated they aren’t playing in front of 30,000 fans every night, as they are that good.  I realize now they would be if they wanted and agreed to other Industry terms.  It won’t be long now, and on their chosen path.  And btw the album kicks ass.♠

Killer Band

Brendan Beamish; vocals, guitar                                                Jermaine Hamilton; vocals                                        Davey James; Drums, Brass, harmonica

Okay, I am so mesmerized I must explain this is what Nights and Weekends does for every person who hears them.  Me included.  But I watched the crowd jumping and singing, the music blasting I could feel the rhythm in my chest, the humour surprising at the least expected times but most of all the synergy.  Their ability to all get to a creative zone at the same time.

It’s magical and I do know they are being scouted and it will be them making the decisions, not any label.  Just like now, writing, producing and executing their own work.  Freedom from rules. Defining their own laws and never asking for permission.

Brendan’s vocals are something out of a choir. His capacity to hold the blues is remarkable and guitar moving right with him never overpowers his strong sound. Just a phenomenal voice and even greater stage presence keeping the crowd wishing they had these capabilities. It quickly becomes very apparent he loves what he does yet his mannerisms hold a humility and rhythm bar none. He is an integral part of the trio, no less no more than the others but integral.

Born in Peterborough, ON Brendan Beamish was forged in Country and Rock. Playing in a band all through high school, known to the small town of Peterborough as Trikestunts. Brendan had Rock down to the letter, growing up on bands like Aerosmith and Tragically Hip it wasn’t a surprise music would play such an important role in his life. Graduating Western University with a Bachelor of Arts major in Sociology, Brendan took to sales where he gained experience working in communications, sales and marketing. But the corporate life could not hold the small town country boy from rocking out on stage. Moving to Toronto to pursue music, Brendan adds that rock edge with a touch of soul to Nights & Weekends. It doesn’t take much to see that his love for Country and Rock are the driving force behind why Brendan does what he does. Hitting the roots of these two genres and bringing them together, Brendan has truly mastered his craft and can be seen when he’s shredding his guitar. Brendan was once quoted saying, “All we really want is one giant party, where we’re the soundtrack.”
Thanks Brendan for keeping it real and passionate.

Davey James, may be my brother, but there is no way I could fluff up some story that represented talent if there was none. I know Davey drums as a form of therapy. Nothing heavy just keeping him focused and revealing the direction he needs to go. He has trained extensively and I often listen to drummers in comparison during songs, which are good. I cannot however detail what it is exactly Davey does different to be subtle but solid and tight. His rhythm is natural and plural, it’s obvious. He loves music, bottom line and any passion is addictive. Let  me to tell you my favourite instrument he plays, it is the harmonica, I just love when he does both. He plays strings as though caressing a woman, writes, teaches and produces music. Then somehow finds the time to help out new artists or starving artists with direction by sharing his long road of experiences.

He also did it on his own. There was no trust fund, or handouts, no offerings or presents. At one point in Hollywood he was homeless but could drum and in New Orleans he gave me the tours of reminiscent pasts that I will treasure forever. He let me into his world and I learned so much about faith, sacrifice, and honesty. My brother’s grown up, now the first of the three to soon have a child, a girl, and found a soul-mate I just know it, with a wonderful, beautiful and grounded young lady I’ll call Sis.

Davey, thank you for spreading your wisdom in ways we never thought possible.

. Music has truly saved my life, and given me a new found freedom”.

Back to the trio and their newest CD, I will leave links to their website which will direct you to the universe of Nights and Weekends.  First lets get some sick lyrics with instrumental leads and have some fun, check it out;

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO OFF THE CD-YOU’LL BE HOOKED TOO…….

Upcoming events

  • Saturday, August 18 2:00 pm
  • Nights & Weekends Live On The Lake
  • Ontario, Canada (MAP)
  • N/A
  • 19+
  • Share
  • Saturday, August 18 9:00 pm
  • Nights & Weekends – Never Let You Down Music Video Shoot
  • Ontario, Canada (MAP)
  • N/A
  • 19+
  • Share
  • Saturday, September 1 10:00 pm
  • Nights & Weekends Live in Sarina
  • Paddy Flahertys: 130 Seaway Road, Sarnia, ON, Canada (MAP)
  • 19+
  • Share

OH, I suppose this is where I simply tell you the review of Nights and Weekends new CD.  Well, best I can tell the one flaw in their unit is they don’t play enough but if this CD does not take them airborne, the next one’s on me, I’m that confident in the success this will bring them.  Love you guys

Your biggest fan,

Kimberly

here’s their bands link and where to buy the CD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↓
Brendan, Jermaine and Davey                                                               NIGHTS and WEEKENDS


I need my curser to help me out


I just know if this curser I seem to stare at all day would blink to the rhythm of my i-tunes song that is blasting, I would get much more work done.

Computer Hassles? Phone 13 G-E-E-K

Computer Hassles? Phone 13 G-E-E-K (Photo credit: Jessica.James)

To even increase my productivity and creativity further this would help;

  • clap screen to different faint pantone background colours.
  • threaten me gangster style if i have not typed in over 5 minutes.
  • I would be even more eager to work if my curser was a mini coloured Louis Vuitton purse.
  • squeezing my eyes really tight reacted in the next perfect word to type.
  • a screen wiper freshened my screen by cleaning all the cigarette smoke off after every 3 cigarettes.
  • in a non-computer sounding voice, rather realistic male voice once every half hour told me how gorgeous and talented I was.
  • spell check actually worked.
  • my office chair had bluetooth to my mac and when I try to stand up my mac would say “no more munchies and wine.”
  • a soothing aroma, in a timely matter oozed gently from under my keys when it felt fit.
  • touching my screen with 2 fingers gave me a replacement of 3 minute mirror, not revealing my writing hairstyle.
  • large red WARNING letters flash when I write something stupid [I heard that]
  • when I get a reflection of myself from my screen, it would have really big boobies!
  • that a replica of my hand would come out of my camera hole and give me a slap when I write blogs to write blogs.

 

Any others?

 

Have a great Day!!!!!


Weaker than Yesterday, Stronger than Tomorrow


She cried

somewhere deep in her chest

like the lions roar

but somehow stronger

not even remembering

the details that brought her here

and as she trembled

she felt that when

yet nothing else

could make the difference

for an empty soul

like her broken heart

and confused mind

physical destruction

her self harm

her life had brought her here

for no particular reason

with no particular purpose

the pain is what drove her

now it’s what owned her

and nothing can change that

not even a reconciliation

she feels no self-pity

no guilt

knows she is innocent

but fools herself

into believing

that all be true

she knows no truth

and has no fight

unable to strike

without consequences

far greater than her pain

she has no one to turn to

know one to talk to

in theory at least

because how could you talk

of such horrible things

that almost brought her to death

she’s weaker than yesterday

stronger than tomorrow

sits numb in today

as does she

she is anonymous

must be protected this way

will die to practice this

and live to ensure it

why her

before even she could move

her destiny was determined

her mother completely unaware

if only we could see

what lies before us

before it does

just maybe

just maybe

we could stop pain

since when does the mean

rule the world

such a stupid question

from a naïve girl

wonder what a magician

would cost to remedy

the life of the child

out of surgery

into recovery

from a broken heart

and she to be opened

and rectified

but not before the child

seems they will start again

with strength in there will

she cannot

now will left to be shown

a capture snapshot

of just one moment

when together they were

as one

knowing nothing of the future

that would bring them such pain

undeniably

ruining their lives

forever

and never

Dedicated

to a young sweet teenager. And it has been told she is seemingly exactly like her mother.


It’s times like these we can help make a difference


A route to help exists

Ashley Davisdon and yes it was his birthday, turning eleven which was three days ago so please do wish him a belated birthday--ok it's really me

Ashley Davisdon and yes it was his birthday, turning eleven which was three days ago so please do wish him a belated birthday–ok it’s really me

The workings behind the site;

Many important factors come into play as to why I am bringing you this spotlight. Namely, 1) a website humble and inviting called, My Route to Help and 2) a dude named Ashley Davidson.

As I have been a recovering addict for years, in and out of treatment, Ash has been the first person I ever heard offering to EDUCATE the surroundings of any addiction rather than promising to HELP.

Having said that, education helps so many in need and Ash is a wizard at being able to hone in on a topic or subject and kindly define it then validate it.

Education is our strongest weapon to give our children the tools to fight starting drugs!

Recently

promoting my book My life as a white, female drug dealer, A story of hope, I stumbled upon My Route to Help. I loved the sight instantly. It’s simplicity and to the point, no useless social networking, no videos or numerous photos, rather a simple and powerful site of people helping people.

My column Dear Addict for years was based on the same criteria. Through someone sharing a part of themselves or knowledge, they are reaching out to someone else.

Ash has done a brilliant job and I have been trying to write one or two articles/stories a week. Need to get this flu gone to continue.

We all have a mandate as writers and this is one I hope you feel strongly about as I do. Ash needs writers, anything pertaining to enrich our knowledge around addictions and alcohol, all of it. There are people struggling everywhere and no one has been untouched in retrospect to these disorders. HubPages is a writing site, I know a caring one, that is more than willing to write an article for MY ROUTE TO HELP.

At least check it out, you’ll enjoy publishing knowing you could be touching someone, in a big way.

MRTH site introduction;

Make no mistake, Ash has a clear vision on how to present information and compassion. Jus read this;

Hello,

Thank you for visiting My Route To Help, we hope you enjoy your stay and pass it on to others. I started this website in the summer 2011, I had the motivation from getting a role as a volunteer with CRI. I thought it would be a good thing to do in my spare time to hopefully help more people than what I would be as a volunteer and so far I have.

Within the first 6 months of the website been online it has been through a lot of changes, it first started off a blog type layout without any user integration however now you can make your own profile with an image and a bio which allows you to post your own articles on the website. This is a big hit with readers and our writers. We have 3 writers who regularly post on the website and they have all received very positive feedback on all articles submitted onto the website.

What we do?

We offer a very simple service to people who want self-help, a lot of people have a fear of seeking help, sometimes they just don’t this is what I want to limit, I want people to read up on the drugs they are taking in simple terms so they understand and to be able to read other people’s success stories to know that every goal is an achievable goal! We offer information on drugs like heroin,cocaine and amphetamine. We also offer advise on harm reduction for example how to stop abscesses and what is the hepatitis virus. And finally we offer some addiction help as well as people s real life success stories of addiction which can be used to help people get through their own struggles!

Communication is key

Recently we have just started a new message board which is on this link here. I have discovered that addiction forums are hard to come by on the internet. Majority of forums that are on the internet do not offer a lot of talking points about addiction and they mainly talk about the drugs themselves in a positive way and not a negative away which is more encouraging to people. So please take the time, if you’re a professional or looking for help do sign up and start talking to people.

Thank you for reading

Ash Davidson

REPEAT:

do not offer a lot of talking points about addiction and they mainly talk about the drugs themselves in a positive way and not a negative way which is more encouraging to people. So please take the time, if you’re a professional or looking for help do sign up and start talking to people.

 

**************My route to help website link

I was so pleased Ash agreed to share more more about himself, Thanks!

  • Ash, what is your favourite flavour of gum?

Spearmint

  • What do you want to tell us? (length is up to you)

I am pretty sure you will find out everything through this interview 😉
Beetles or Elvis?
Elvis, my nana is a big Elvis fan

  • What’s it like being Ash for one day? Take us through a typical day.

Get up. Go in the shower, and go for the occasional run. If I am at work I’ll be there normally from 5pm till 9pm if not either pushing My Route To Help or playing pool with friends.

  • What city and Country do you live in?

Carlisle, England (9 miles from Scotland)

  • What is your superpower?

Energy. Always have energy to do things no matter how tired I am.

  • Who would you say is a person you admire, and why? (dead or alive)

Steven Gerrard. Liverpool FC Captain. He is motivational, a leader and never gives up. I hope to develop similar traits when I am older in my own career

  • What are your current living arrangements and who may live there also?

Live in a small 2 bedroom house with my parents

  • What is your greatest passion and what is your favourite hobby?

Greatest passion is football (soccer) watch it all the time no matter who is playing. Big love for the game. Favourite hobby is either fitness or website building.

  • Favourite colour and author (you can use me LOL)

Favourite colour is orange, I don’t have a favourite author. I tend to read auto-biographies

  • What music do you like?

I am into heavy metal music there is a lot more talent that goes into a group of 5 than one person who can just sing the same old pop songs.

  • What age RANGE are you?

21-30? Early stages of being a man!

  • Do you have a career? What is it?

Not at the moment, working in retail which I have done for 5 years now. Aspirations to join the Police in the UK as I have finished my university course in Policing.

  • Do you consider yourself a workaholic? Or laid back?

Laid back but ambitious. I work hard and I am dedicated but I am a very laid back person!
How did you find the career I hope you like, or don’t like?

  • What are the details surrounding the creation of MRTH?

I created MRTH as a project to do over the summer of 2011. It was going to be a blog about my experiences volunteering within the drug and alcohol services in the UK, which was a part of my university course. However it evolved. I started getting people contacting me to share their own stories which I allowed then I started looking for contributors which made the website grow even more. Because I come from a non addiction background its better for me to write about drugs themselves in technical terms but I have no knowledge of addiction hence why the sharing of stories and contributing helps the website go the extra mile.

  • How old is MRTH?

It’s just over 13 months old now. Still in baby years for the website with over 82,000 page hits!
How many articles to date have been written from readers and members?
126 at present but this is growing and growing. 60 of them are by myself.

  • Do you have a newsletter?

No, I use Facebook/Twitter to contact fans and followers of the website.

  • Where do you see MRTH headed?

I hope to see it being the best place to share stories of addiction to inspire others. Along with having valuable knowledge from contributors with experience or work within the addiction field.

  • Are there any operative challenges right now, ie; admin, video, profile page with photo and befriend button? etc. or do you prefer to keep it simple?

Prefer to keep it simple.

  • Who conceptually started MRTH? Is MRTH reaching or offering help to everyone or rather anyone?

Not so much of helping people but to educatepeople. To understand the drugs they are taking. Understanding addiction and to gain motivation reading stories of peoples success stories.

  • Who runs MRTH and maintains it? Is there more than one person?

At the minute it is just me. More it grows I will be looking for people to help out when that time comes

  • What, and this could be anything, with a magic wand would you have this site do?

To make it the most hit drug addiction website in the world supplying knowledge to everyone.

  • Who are your primary readers and what age and geographic are?

At present its 18-30 year olds in the UK, USA and Canada mainly with 46% women and 54% male.

  • Are your readers loyal, are there many?

Very loyal, always come back to either submit more content or comment on new content by other people which is supportive. With over 415 likes on Facebook now and 1,500 followers on twitter is positive and hoping to grow in the future.

  • Ash, please feel free to leave your members and readers with a message

 

Thank you for the support over the past 13 months. It has grown because of your input, as small as sharing the website it is helping, which I am very grateful for.

Will you consider participating in the education surrounding addictions and families?

 

WRITERS NEEDED, WE ARE ABLE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, so let’s…………………..


A brothel’s ceiling fan


As my memory rests

I never forget why I loved

They told me innocence will never last

I am 40 something, needing to be hugged

Once drenched in pain

Choked back in childhood

When I would dip my right hand

In that gray flour and its gravity

Love is so rare

A handful of ash holds

The entire worlds weight

I belong a long way from here

Will you plunge through my home door

Announce by dance you are here

Get me tied in a love knot, bitten free

Let’s still get stoned

Show me your veined hands

We’ll play and slumber in my life boat

Only to wake, feeling your breath

On my neck. Don’t tell me I am beautiful, show me

Let me learn from your animistic release

Depend on this breeze, as we do our chemicals

To cease my fear your embrace that seeks to still me

Truth is I need to be inspired and dream of you

It’s true there must be an angel smiling on her face

When she thought up ways to put one on mine

Only in tears though do I speak in the dark

Keep your predatory clench in your powerful jaw

It hurts to eat, so you surrender my needs

Inspiring me, releasing me, strengthening me

Now gathering up moms clothes for the poor

A litter of souls, I love as I was protected

Dreadlocks or crew cuts, i spend with my life

Pleasing up my men, only one broke

Blown open, a girl again for the first time

I listened to the earths heartbeat, finally

I am inspired, everyone I miss left hurt

Some have claimed my heart as theirs

When my last love came, he slid a palm

Across my eyes and lent me his mouth

Laid his head in the middle of me

Bent me, and my face rests on the

Meadow of his chest, again to listen

To the earths heartbeat

I see many windows vacant

No one keeps the brothel‘s ceiling fan

Or the infants mouth sewn shut

Suppose none of us stay in one place long

Last night my dream was so deep

My bed came UNroped from it’s actions

My father in the doorway, dead

Just home from the graveyard shift

Inspired as I possess that brothel’s ceiling fan

It has seen all that I do

It is silent and wicked

I find comport as it has seen worse

It’s blue

My brothel’s ceiling fan

My favorite toy and rhythm

Count its turns, as it drills a new hole

Tragic

Tricks of magic

Mix it

Or magic in tricks

Depending on the gift of its breeze

While doing chemicals

Expired

Piles of condoms

Blue.

My magic brothel fan.


I am my biggest fan and follow myself


That’s why I like WordPress, I can follow myself and I haven’t been on a site yet where I otherwise could.  Yes I am aware I am talking to myself.  That’s the gift-what happens in my mind, stays in my mind.  A good coping mechanism when one has lost their marbles and is still hungry, is the imagination.  Oh this came about when……

I realized this morning how serious and quiet, even boring and bitchy I have been lately.  It’s not like I am trying to get out of the responsibility of my actions but do confess book promoting is such a drag.  One month of promoting now and it never occurred to me I could take a break or try and work on my next novel.  Having said that my genius mind has decided under no circumstances can I promote my novel, or I shall turn into an irreversible undertaker professionally.

I say……………….

Shit, I think I just promoted myself.  OK, doesn’t count as I am trying to make excuses for my irritating, irresponsible, isolating, ignorant,  illegal, instigating, intolerable, insensitive, insane, itchy, and intoxicated behavior.  Yes I make myself laugh. I may add quite often, quite hard and for long periods of time. I think I am being tickled from  a nervous breakdown.  So I am here to counteract it with typing some thoughts for the moment, It won’t take long, as I have short term memory lapses.

Not in the telling a funny joke way, actually I never get jokes. But in a OMG kinda way. Difficult to explain and I so wish I was a writer to articulate my funniness or humor suppose is a more classy term. I’m all about class, oozes from me. Yep classy natural humor.

Thank goodness I find myself funny, most don’t. They think I am serious or weird or just don’t understand me, until of course, they get to know me.

That’s when the laughter is expected. Primarily from me. I am trying to think of some examples to demonstrate my hilarious demeanor.

I reckon the Three Musketeers are all doing poems in some fancy uptight format or version? I bet they are not expecting one from me about me [zip it]. Please do not be alarmed that I am talking to myself, I am kinda stuck doing so since ‘You’ [me] make me laugh is written to, about, for, from, well, me.

Well I made up my mind since my minds world got me started. It gave myself permission to publicly make an a**  of myself [quite therapeutic if I do say].  It’s widget time and here’s what I’m thinking *giggles* [no control of bladder sometimes, sorry]

Today I shall be LEGO girl!

May I add that my mother told me; Imagination is said to be intelligence having fun. I like that. Though she said not to share it with people as it cycles too fast and teachers use to think I was trying to get thrown out of class.  Well, unless WordPress has teachers, I feel pretty confident I am safe. If only I could just invent some intelligence, or find where I can buy it? Please advise if you can……… It’s OK your safe, I am not contagious [well there anyways].

Hope you guessed by now what makes me laugh is my own imagination. Good thing people can read my mind cause imagine if they couldn’t

Let’s imagine if…….

  • I had an imagination
  • siamese twins were formerly joined at the lips
  • spin the bottle could only be played by schizophrenics
  • there was a medical devise for reshaping the tongue
  • men used portable urinals-remembering to shake
  • that Britney was my daughter
  • we gave out free earplugs to elephants
  • all hot married men had single twin brothers
  • if I wasn’t so funny
  • if I understood what PSYCHOANALYTICAL meant

And imagine if……….

  • I owned HubPages
  • babies and elders didn’t poop their pants but the rest of us did
  • the dictionary was funny
  • Blowfish were the ones smuggling cocaine through the waterways
  • Google slept, just even once
  • cats could have a drivers licence
  • seahorses discovered another side to the globe
  • we could follow ourselves and leave awesome fan mail all over the net
  • we could buy accolades or trade like hockey cards
  • No one had hair except sunnieday and kimberly gray

And imagine if…………….

  • we could be immature forever
  • we could eat right from our computer screens pictures of food [careful with the fish]
  • Shamoo was a person in real life
  • snakes all had a big nose
  • OMG if I was not so smokin hot
  • The automatic Umbrella doubled as a toiled when turned upside down [what? there are emergencies
  • a vampire bit me, again but 3x now missed the spot
  • if I was a writer
  • all recipes were interactive
  • school principles were not allowed to use their intercoms

And imagine if…………….

  • it was impossible to be famous
  • you could induce an instant orgasm by scratching your head
  • you could create itchy pink dandruff
  • politicians didn’t have artificial hearts
  • parrots could only curse and swear
  • OMG I wasn’t so self-consumed
  • if men wen’t so confusing in bed
  • you could eat your tickles
  • I won some talent
  • our bums were always exposed
  • eating radishes grew hair on men and women’s chests

And imagine if…………….

  • burkas were made of leather
  • I could be of sound mind, and have volume controls
  • Visa was a gift with each bible redeemable at any fast food restaurant
  • the sound of dogs barks were farts and their farts made a bark
  • if I was born a day earlier, how different my life might have been
  • if we all would think alike – bet there would be a lot less humour
  • if we never once had to get up in the morning
  • a new pair of shoes came with every supersize meal
  • SomewayOuttaHere learned to be cool and ride motorcycles
  • the world all became Canadian citizens

And imagine if…………….

  • lineups were illegal
  • I had boobies
  • I was the face on the hundred dollar bill
  • Heaven was at the pick up counter in Starbucks
  • I wasn’t long-winded
  • Police wore tighter pants by 2 sizes
  • the most elite golf courses in the world were in the bronx
  • the duration of pregnancy was 3 hours, 4 with twins
  • only truck drivers had emotions
  • cure for hangovers were somersaults
  • Wayne finally washed his willy
And imagine if……………
  • if spiders wore tap shoes
  • denture glue was a multi-purpose deodorant, and skin cream as well.
  • jellyfish was delicious with peanut butter
  • blogging increased your IQ [start-blog a lot!]
  • superheroes wore trench coats with belts, not capes
  • Denzel Washington proposed to me
  • the playboy mansion was a gift from Hef
  • beautiful brides didn’t get ugly later on
  • colour coded souls so people could see right through you
  • sex was a legal if we kept maintaining the 4x a day law
  • snot did not exist

And imagine if…………….

  • pornography was famous due to the fact the ‘actors’ had to be clothed
  • those scam inheritance emails were real
  • you could make money writing
  • gambling was mandatory for all citizens until the age of 21
  • WordPress also doubled as an ATM machine [get cash from CD slot]
  • WordPress bought each blogger a racehorse of their choice
  • Robert Downey Junior took me out on the ever waiting date in Bermuda
  • a 6 pack really had 7 and the 7th was free
  • there was a huge black market for buying and selling blogs using bookies as they would know how to stay under internet police radar
  • imagine if I kept going ……………………..


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